Stinky Microwave

You know, there should be laws about what people are allowed to cook in a public microwave. Why? Because whenever you have a public microwave (like in an office building kitchen) there is always someone who uses it to cook something absolutely repugnant.

I don't know who used the microwave before me today, but the residual smell left in the microwave almost made me re-decorate the walls with vomit. I thought food was supposed to smell good! This person must have been cooking decomposing rat fecal matter or something. It smelled wretched.

When gross food is cooked in a microwave, the smell really seems to linger inside. My concern is of course that whatever I decide to cook will in some way collect some of the stench through osmosis. I don't want my yummy day-old pizza (because there's nothing better than day old pizza) to come out of the nuke box smelling like Rita McNeal's hindside.

They really need to invent a product to quickly exorcise bad smells out of a microwave. For example, when someone farts on your car seat, you quickly call Armorall and ScotchGaurd (arguably 3M's greatest product) to the scene. Problem solved, you seat smells lemony fresh.

I wonder if ScotchGuard works in microwaves.....